Comments on: Quick advice to save your marriage http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/ Fun, help, advice, tips and stories, all about parenting and being a dad. Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:16:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Head Jammer http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-872 Head Jammer Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:05:45 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-872 Hey Keith, good point about smiling. I think it has been proven that simply smiling makes you feel better, even if you don't mean it. Just by putting your body in a "happy" state, by smiling, standing upright, chin up, etc, you can have a very positive impact on your mood and outlook. So here's another smile for all of you out there :) Hey Keith, good point about smiling. I think it has been proven that simply smiling makes you feel better, even if you don’t mean it. Just by putting your body in a “happy” state, by smiling, standing upright, chin up, etc, you can have a very positive impact on your mood and outlook. So here’s another smile for all of you out there :)

]]> By: Keith Wilcox http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-869 Keith Wilcox Sun, 30 Aug 2009 05:32:03 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-869 Chris, Very good stuff. I hadn't thought of this topic, positive thinking, as it relates to spousal interactions. But, you're right. I am a stay-at-home dad, but I have stressful days, and when my wife appears in front of me after I've been dealing with irrational children all day I tend to not be able to mediate my own frustrations. I find something that works to make me feel better is to simply smile -- even if I don't mean it. There is something about a smile that makes me feel better. I think it might work for everyone :-) There, see! Keith .-= Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.mekeliki.com/videospecial/interviewing-alan/" rel="nofollow">Interviewing Alan</a> =-. Chris,

Very good stuff. I hadn’t thought of this topic, positive thinking, as it relates to spousal interactions. But, you’re right. I am a stay-at-home dad, but I have stressful days, and when my wife appears in front of me after I’ve been dealing with irrational children all day I tend to not be able to mediate my own frustrations. I find something that works to make me feel better is to simply smile — even if I don’t mean it. There is something about a smile that makes me feel better. I think it might work for everyone :-) There, see!

Keith
Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..Interviewing Alan My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Head Jammer http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-849 Head Jammer Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:24:52 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-849 Hey Chris - great points and a great tip to relieve stress! Listening to music that makes you feel good and singing to it is a great way to change your focus to something positive and put you in a good state of mind for when you walk through that door to your home and see your spouse. Hey Chris – great points and a great tip to relieve stress! Listening to music that makes you feel good and singing to it is a great way to change your focus to something positive and put you in a good state of mind for when you walk through that door to your home and see your spouse.

]]> By: Chris http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-847 Chris Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:18:47 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-847 Great article, I think the biggest step is realizing your actions and be willing to change. The mind is a powerful tool that can sabotage your life without even knowing. The trick I use is to crank up the tunes on the drive home and sing as loud as I can. No one has to suffer through my tone deaf solos, and it helps to relieve the stress! .-= Chris´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.thenewdadguide.com/2009/08/how-to-be-labor-coach.html" rel="nofollow">How to Be a Labor Coach</a> =-. Great article, I think the biggest step is realizing your actions and be willing to change.

The mind is a powerful tool that can sabotage your life without even knowing.

The trick I use is to crank up the tunes on the drive home and sing as loud as I can. No one has to suffer through my tone deaf solos, and it helps to relieve the stress!
Chris´s last blog ..How to Be a Labor Coach My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Head Jammer http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-845 Head Jammer Tue, 04 Aug 2009 23:30:28 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-845 @Tyler - It is a really interesting perspective, and it makes sense to me. If we think back to when we first met our wives, all the associations we had with seeing her were positive. Seeing her made us feel good. If you think about even when people go on dates, usually they try and put themselves in a positive state before the date, even if they had a stressful day. So the negative associations weren't really there. It is really through work and the daily grind that we start to risk associating our work stress with our spouses. @DaddysToolbox - Thanks for the detailed comment, and wow, your wife sounds really busy, and that sounds like a tough situation. Me and my wife have really simplified our lives to try and reduce stress. We don't have a car, we try and keep as few expenses as possible, she stays at home with the kids and sometimes takes an extra kid on some days to earn a bit of extra money, I do my best to work reasonable hours, etc. I think it has helped, but I understand such a lifestyle isn't possible for everyone. I think it is great that you give her massages and help her to relax. That should help her to make positive associations with being with you and seeing you. If it were possible for her to leave her work stresses behind when she came home (which isn't always possible nowadays, with Blackberries and working from home, etc.), then you guys would probably benefit, but I'm no expert, just my two cents. @Tyler – It is a really interesting perspective, and it makes sense to me. If we think back to when we first met our wives, all the associations we had with seeing her were positive. Seeing her made us feel good. If you think about even when people go on dates, usually they try and put themselves in a positive state before the date, even if they had a stressful day. So the negative associations weren’t really there. It is really through work and the daily grind that we start to risk associating our work stress with our spouses.
@DaddysToolbox – Thanks for the detailed comment, and wow, your wife sounds really busy, and that sounds like a tough situation. Me and my wife have really simplified our lives to try and reduce stress. We don’t have a car, we try and keep as few expenses as possible, she stays at home with the kids and sometimes takes an extra kid on some days to earn a bit of extra money, I do my best to work reasonable hours, etc. I think it has helped, but I understand such a lifestyle isn’t possible for everyone. I think it is great that you give her massages and help her to relax. That should help her to make positive associations with being with you and seeing you. If it were possible for her to leave her work stresses behind when she came home (which isn’t always possible nowadays, with Blackberries and working from home, etc.), then you guys would probably benefit, but I’m no expert, just my two cents.

]]> By: Tinch - Daddys Toolbox http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-844 Tinch - Daddys Toolbox Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:30:30 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-844 whoa!!! good stuff and this makes total sense. My wife's job is demanding of her and she's 24x7 connected to her Blackberry and gets like 350 emails a day, non-stop. She is on the phone about 5-6 hours on conference calls all day, so that LAST thing she wants to do at home is talk. Luckily she does have about a 30 minute ride home from work, but usually stops off and picks up our kids from preschool. I used to but she likes to do it now, or on most days. I take them in the morning now (or most days). We've been having a rough time with stresses of jobs, increasing bills, stagnant paychecks and living check to check while supporting 2 kids at $1800/mo for preschool. It's a lot!!! but we did the math and we both need to work. Also, a new car payment started this summer. So with all the recession talks, money issues, job stresses, two whiny kids in the evening because they are HOT and/or hungry on ride home it just gets to us. And I KNOW I take things out on my wife (and sometimes kids). SHe takes things out on me. There are times where we really get pissed at each other and neither of us like that! I'm not a GRUDGE holder, I let things go easily and never stay upset. can't say the same for my wife. I think she's very pretty, smart and a good mommy and wife and I constantly tell her that and give her shoulder and neck massages after work to relax her. She always seems so tense at home...i think it's because she cannot stop thinking about all the shit she gets piled onto her from work. She works for a huge global company and I work for a small local IT training/consulting company. I cannot relate to her workload and just say, "let it go for once!" Oh well, this was a great way to view things and I will have to share this with my wife. (Sweetie, if you read the blog post and my comment, please don't be mad! I'm just typing away my thoughts and this makes me want to get back into blogging more now!!) @DaddysToolbox whoa!!! good stuff and this makes total sense. My wife’s job is demanding of her and she’s 24×7 connected to her Blackberry and gets like 350 emails a day, non-stop. She is on the phone about 5-6 hours on conference calls all day, so that LAST thing she wants to do at home is talk. Luckily she does have about a 30 minute ride home from work, but usually stops off and picks up our kids from preschool. I used to but she likes to do it now, or on most days. I take them in the morning now (or most days).

We’ve been having a rough time with stresses of jobs, increasing bills, stagnant paychecks and living check to check while supporting 2 kids at $1800/mo for preschool. It’s a lot!!! but we did the math and we both need to work. Also, a new car payment started this summer. So with all the recession talks, money issues, job stresses, two whiny kids in the evening because they are HOT and/or hungry on ride home it just gets to us. And I KNOW I take things out on my wife (and sometimes kids). SHe takes things out on me. There are times where we really get pissed at each other and neither of us like that! I’m not a GRUDGE holder, I let things go easily and never stay upset. can’t say the same for my wife. I think she’s very pretty, smart and a good mommy and wife and I constantly tell her that and give her shoulder and neck massages after work to relax her. She always seems so tense at home…i think it’s because she cannot stop thinking about all the shit she gets piled onto her from work. She works for a huge global company and I work for a small local IT training/consulting company. I cannot relate to her workload and just say, “let it go for once!”

Oh well, this was a great way to view things and I will have to share this with my wife. (Sweetie, if you read the blog post and my comment, please don’t be mad! I’m just typing away my thoughts and this makes me want to get back into blogging more now!!)

@DaddysToolbox

]]> By: Tyler - Building Camelot http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-843 Tyler - Building Camelot Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:33:03 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-843 Very interesting perspective. I've never thought of associating my wife with the things that bother me at work. It does shed light on how to improve your marriage without having to go through a major overhaul. I have found that if I'm in a better mood when my wife gets home things run much more smoothly that evening. .-= Tyler - Building Camelot´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BuildingCamelot/~3/WiEC5xJWFtw/" rel="nofollow">How To Cook A Morton’s Quality Steak At Home</a> =-. Very interesting perspective. I’ve never thought of associating my wife with the things that bother me at work. It does shed light on how to improve your marriage without having to go through a major overhaul. I have found that if I’m in a better mood when my wife gets home things run much more smoothly that evening.
Tyler – Building Camelot´s last blog ..How To Cook A Morton’s Quality Steak At Home My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Quick tip to save your marriage | Parenting - The Dad Jam http://thedadjam.com/advice-and-tips/advice-save-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-842 Quick tip to save your marriage | Parenting - The Dad Jam Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:58:29 +0000 http://thedadjam.com/?p=1157#comment-842 [...] Link to Full Story provided by HowtoSaveaMarriage.biz.  Mail this post [...] [...] Link to Full Story provided by HowtoSaveaMarriage.biz.  Mail this post [...]

]]>