Smary Pants and Smarty Pants 2

Smarty Pants 2 is a little over two weeks old now, and somehow we managed to survive our first two weeks with three kids… mostly thanks to the awesomeness and strength of my lovely wife, Love Buns.

To celebrate, I would like to share three tips with you on how to survive your first week or two with your third child, should you find yourself in the same situation as me. Of course, everyone’s situation is different, but this worked for us, and maybe it will help you too:

1) Don’t let anyone into your house in the first week unless they are carrying bags of food (preferably food that you can freeze) – this may sound a bit selfish, or odd… but it is true. Your first week with three kids is hectic… you and your spouse are now outnumbered by your kids… and one of them is a teeny tiny baby that needs a tonne of undivided attention from at least one of you pretty much 24/7. Having visitors during the first week can add to the commotion, since your baby is not on a schedule yet, and you haven’t fully adjusted to having another child in your household. But, if said visitors bring some food with them when they come to visit, it is a big plus. Finding time to cook meals will be difficult, so any pre-made meals you get will be huge time savers. Especially if you can freeze some of them for later in the week when you’re really in a pinch.

I must say, we have awesome friends, and everyone who came to visit us was kind enough to bring some food with them when they visited. We didn’t ask for it, they were just thoughtful and wanted to help us out, and we gladly accepted the help. It really made a huge difference and we are very grateful.

2) Build a village – they say it takes a village to raise a family, and when you have three kids, it is truer than ever. Find out how your friends can help you, and get paid help as well if you need it. For example, we have a friend who was able to pick our son up from school for the first week after Smarty Pants 2 was born. Other friends of ours took him to school every day. What a huge help that was! We have other friends that had our daughter over for play dates with their daughter…another huge help. I could go on…

Of course, try to reciprocate as much as you can…you don’t want to take take take without giving anything back, so have some play date exchanges, give thank-you gifts, etc. In essence, build a community with other parents to the best extent possible.

3) Rest and enjoy as much as you can – luckily the baby will sleep quite a lot in the first couple of weeks. Take advantage of this time to try and rest as much as you can. If you followed steps 1 and 2 above, you should have saved some time in your day for resting. If you’re a working dad, hopefully you’ll take at least a week off of work too, and use the time to help your wife and also get some rest yourself. And of course, enjoy this time with your precious new little baby. Unless you are prepared to have four or more kids (i.e. you are really brave or really crazy), this will be your last little baby. So enjoy the time, and it will make it go that much smoother.

Leave a comment and let us know what you think of these tips, and if you have any other tips to share! Cheers and all the best!

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The Best Job There Is!

There is a much greater reward than any cash compensation could ever replace though… that is, the smiles, the kisses, the hugs, the love… seeing them grow and develop.. the list goes on and on.

But of course, we all need some cash to get by. So what can parents do to earn real money, and still not miss out on those wonderful moments with the kids?

An office job is one option… but… we’ve all seen the tired-eyed mom or dad show up at the office with burp-up stains on his or her shoulder… heck, I’ve been that guy in the office many times. Having a full-time office job with kids can really be tough. I remember a time when my son was still a baby… I would get home from the office at 6pm or so…already exhausted… have dinner, and put him to bed. I hardly got to see him, and those hours that I saw him, he was mostly tired and cranky.

Lucky enough for me, my job now is pretty flexible and I can work from home. I have shifted my hours to earlier hours in the day, so, I am still tired, but I finish early enough that I can spend time in the afternoon with my kids. If you ever get a chance to have a job with flexible hours like that, take it! It is really great  to be able to spend more quality time with the kids.

If you are looking for ways to work flexibly from home, here are a few examples of the possibilities, to get your creative juices flowing:

-Find an employer who allows flexible work arrangements so that you can work from home (kind of like my employer). Best Buy is an example of an employer that is leading this movement.

-Do some freelancing – like website development or graphic design (there are a lot of websites where you can offer your freelancing services).

-If you are the crafty type, sell your crafts on sites like Etsy or eBay.

-If you are web-savvy, try out some online affiliate marketing, through sites like Clickbank, and/or set up some websites where you can sell your own products or services – check out the book: Get Rich Click!: The Ultimate Guide to Making Money on the Internet for some great Internet business ideas and tips on how to put them into action.

All of these ideas can help you work flexibly from home, so you can choose your hours, work as little or as much as you want, and still bring in some money to help support your family. Of course, some will work better than others, and it will also depend on your talents and how much effort you are willing and able to put in, but choose what works best for you, your financial situation, your family, and your schedule.

Also, if you happen to be in the UK, check out WorkingMums.co.uk, for some good postings and ideas on part-time jobs , flexible jobs, work from home jobs, etc, for mums!

If you decide to make the move to working from home, I wish you all the best and guarantee you will enjoy it!

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Why, you ask?

If its hot chocolate, she'll try it.

Those of you with picky kids will know… it is a struggle… every night the same old story… try it… I don’t want to… just try it… I don’t want to… one bite… no!

If this sounds like you and your kids, you are not alone. I’m with ya… and I’ll share with you a little trick I tried with my 5-year-old son Smarty Pants last night that worked really well.

So, my dear wife made potato soup, and swiftly left the house as soon as dinner was served. All alone, I was left to fend for myself, with two children frowning at the bowls of soup set before them. I knew I had to come up with an approach… and fast.

It started with the usual: “I don’t want this”… “Just try it” ping-pong… but… then I threw in a curve ball. (Is it possible to throw a curve ball in ping-pong?)

Anyway… it went a little something like this:

Me: “Don’t eat it!”

Smarty Pants: (giggles… a little taken aback)

Me: “It tastes really good, so you shouldn’t eat it”

Smarty Pants: (still looking confused, surprised, and giggling).

Me: “If you eat it, you are going to like it, and then we are going to have to make it all the time for you, and that is too much work. So it is better that you don’t try it.”

Smarty Pants: “But are you going to eat yours?”

Me: “Yes”

Smarty Pants: “Then I am going to eat mine.”

Me: “No, don’t… you are going to like it and then we are going to have to make it all the time, and we don’t want that.”

Smarty Pants: “I am going to try it.”

Me: “Okay.”

And he tried it, and he liked it. Hurrah!

Mind you, Smarty Pants is a little more apt to try things by nature, so I can’t guarantee this technique will work with all kids (it only kinda worked with my daughter, who NEVER wants to try anything… she tried it, but then broke into tears as soon as the soup hit her tongue).

In any case… it was kinda fun, and it made him laugh, so try it yourself and see how it goes! (Actually… don’t try it… the technique is too good, and then you are going to have to use it all the time, and ask me for more tips… so please don’t try it!)

Till next time, happy parenting, and leave a comment to let me know what you think!

Cheers.

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Daily Physical Activity: the Foundation for a Healthy Lifestyle – Six Great Tips for Getting Your Family Active

By: Kathleen Thomas, Primrose Day Care Schools

Experts suggest that young children need to accumulate at least 60 minutes and up to several hours of physical activity every day. Unfortunately, many children are not nearly as active as they need to be. Along with poor diet, physical inactivity has contributed to a large increase in childhood obesity in the United States in the past 20 years. The following statistics are unsettling:

• Between 16 and 33 percent of children and adolescents are obese nationwide. (Source: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)
• The percentage of obese or overweight children is at or above 30 percent in 30 states. (Source: Trust for America’s Health)

Research has shown that children who develop basic motor skills such as throwing, catching, kicking, jumping, skipping, and balance are more likely to grow into healthy active adults. Studies have shown that daily physical activity helps children academically as well. Learning basic physical skills is essential to the healthy growth and development of your child.

Dr. Stephen Sanders, author, professor, and director of the School of Physical Education and Exercise Science at the University of South Florida is a member of the Primrose Schools Education Advisory Board. He says that children do not necessarily learn physical skills on their own. He has found they need guidance and assistance from adults, challenging activities, and opportunities to practice and refine physical skills.

The amount of time children spend daily in physical activity is decreasing, and it will take a determined effort from parents to reverse this trend.

What can parents do to teach their children about the importance of being physically active and help them learn these necessary skills? Trying the six tips below will help you and your family create a fun environment for physical activity and will contribute to everyone’s physical health.

Six Great Tips for Getting Your Family Active:

• Find appropriate, safe spaces for quality physical activity: Provide safe spaces inside and outside for your child to be active.
• Ensure the availability of age-appropriate supplies: Being physically active is like learning to read, write, or do math problems in that each requires proper materials or equipment.
• Provide abundant supplies of balls, hoops, hockey sticks, bats, paddles, racquets, musical instruments, jump ropes, etc. They need balls of all sizes, shapes, and weights such as beanbags, sock balls, and rubber balls. Equipment should be soft, lightweight, and made for children.
• Be active with your children: Don’t just send your children outside to play–be a role model!  Go outside with them and participate in games and other activities that require physical exertion!
• Use sidewalk chalk to create your own four-square or hopscotch grids; blow bubbles then chase them around the yard to see who can catch them; go on a walk around the neighborhood or through a park as a family; play music and dance inside or outside; and when the weather is nice put on your bathing suits and run through the sprinklers.
• Promote a feeling of success when you play with your child. If your child is not yet able to successfully throw and hit a target, encourage them to move a little closer so they can be successful. Skills are acquired incrementally. Children who do not experience success have a tendency to quit and not practice. Acknowledge their efforts with specific comments. No matter what your child’s skill level is, be a supportive coach. They will benefit from your encouragement.

When children come into the world, physical activity is at the very center of their lives. They have a mission to learn to crawl, walk, run, throw, catch, and kick. If they are going to enjoy participating in physical activities now and as adults, they need to build on that foundation of success an enjoyment that begins in infancy. So, grab a ball, badminton racket, or jump rope and set aside time each day to play with your child!

Leave a comment and tell us what you think and what you are doing to keep your family active!

Thank you Kathleen for the amazing tips!

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You are going to want to give it a try if you haven’t discovered it already yourself. If you have discovered it already, I bet you use it quite often.

What is it?

All you need to do is add great significance to whatever it is you want your child to do or go along with. It can really make things fun for you and your child. You just need to use your imagination and be playful.

Wearing his Rescue Jeans

I’ll give you an example, from my own experience, which is actually how I stumbled upon this method in the first place.

While helping my five year old son get dressed one day, I handed him a pair of jeans to put on. He looked at me with a strange look, as if he didn’t real want to wear jeans that day. But then, he looked at the jeans again, and looked back at me.

“Are these ‘Rescue Jeans?’” he asked me.

Not really knowing what to say… I went with a… “Yes, those are Rescue Jeans.”

He looked back at the jeans, and happily put them on.

It made me realize that if we want to get our kids to go along with certain things, we just have to make them sound cooler than they are.

Another time, my son didn’t want to sit in a certain chair.

“Why do I have to sit in THAT chair?” he asked.

“Because that is a special chair.” I said. (Okay, not quite as cool as “Rescue Jeans”… but hey, I’m older and have less imagination).

“Okay” he said, happily climbing onto the chair.

So next time you find yourself in a situation where your child doesn’t want to put on a certain piece of clothing, or sit in a certain chair, or go somewhere with you, or just plain isn’t listening… try making it sound cooler and more appealing to them! Jeans can be “Rescue Jeans”… why not? Whatever works right?

Now I am off to my “Super Cool Bed”… until next time!

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*******************

Some parents and children have difficulty expressing their love.

Holding hands, wrestling, and talking might be a great struggle for some. It depends on how they were raised, how they interpret the value of their relationships with others, who they are as individuals, and their temperament.

Not all families or relationships are created equal. Most people have a passion for “something.” This could be fly fishing, video games, music, sports, cooking, or computers. It is that one thing in their life that they feel most comfortable focusing on and greatly enjoy. We call them “hobbies” – but they are also a potential medium upon which relationships can be built and strengthened.

Let us suppose for a moment that a father is not comfortable with physical displays of affection with his son. How could he show his child that he loves him? If the father is passionate about model making, he could start a model project with his son, working close with him. Through the activity which is the medium of the father’s passion, both father and son get to share an intimate moment working closely together and learning from each other.

From the father comes the lesson, and from the son comes the value. Add the two together and what do you have? Quality time with long lasting benefits.

But this works in reverse, too. Let us suppose that a mother wants to reach out to her daughter who has recently grown distant. The relationship between the mother and daughter has become strained by the daughter showing an ever-growing need for independence. The mother, not knowing it, has resisted this change which has created tension and is slowly dividing them. Clearly, something must be done as the road currently being traveled will lead to hardship. Where the father was unable to connect to his son on an intimate level he felt comfortable with, the mother is unable to achieve any intimate level because of the daughter’s resistance.

The roles are reversed, but the solution is the same – common ground can once again be found and claimed through a shared passion.

As it happens, many a mother and daughter have spent hours scrap booking in the past. The mother approaches the daughter one evening with a new project that they can work on together. The mother wants the daughter to lead the design, the crafting decisions, and the direction. All semblances of authority and leadership are given to the daughter. This is a refreshing role reversal and a clear head nod from the parental figure that the child is more than capable and responsible.

The next day, the mother and daughter go to the craft store, buy the materials, and that evening they are laughing, sharing memories, and reconnecting. Where once there was friction and discord is now harmony and happiness through a medium for which both parties are passionate and to which they can relate.

Father and son, mother and daughter. Their stories are different but the outcome the same. Through sharing their passions they find a way to connect and grow.

The next time you feel you are not connecting with your child or are having difficulty finding a comfortable way of expressing your genuine interest in them, ask yourself what you or your children are passionate about and then do that together. Play on the ground, go on a hiking trip, read a book together, or just “hang out.” The most difficult part of parenting is being OK with the fact that you don’t know everything, will make mistakes, and are hardly an “expert.”

Take comfort in that we are all alone in this together and that no one has all the answers. The common threads that can be found between individuals should be cherished and used to their fullest. It is a simple truth that will reward all involved. Go forth and love your kids by doing what you, and they, love most.

**************

Thank you Cyrus! To read more from FatherGeek, head over to FatherGeek.com now.

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What do you do when you need to buy some time with your kids?

I mean, you’re in the middle of something that you need to finish up, and Junior is nagging you to go outside and help him search for worms in the neighbour’s gladiolas. Or, you’re driving, with the kids in the back in their car seats, and just as they start getting into an argument over who has the most fishies, you’re gridlocked in traffic.

The solution is simple. In a word, distraction.

Perhaps one could also describe it as, “changing their focus.” Which is something that Tony Robbins talks about a lot, and I believe holds great power.

I’ll give you an example.

One time I was in the bathroom at a restaurant with my preschooler, Smarty Pants. He was done, and wanted to go back to our table all by himself. I was still washing my hands, and he didn’t want to wait until I was done. He was focused on going back to our table on his own. Its great that he wanted to be so independent and had confidence in himself, and I encourage that as much as I can, but I also didn’t want him roaming around the restaurant solo.

I told him to wait, but he kept insisting on going.

Then, it came to me.

I told him I would be ready in 20 seconds, and asked him if he knew how to count to 20. Faced with this question, his brain couldn’t help but answer it. “1, 2, 3, 4, … ” he started.

He proudly counted to 20, and by the time he did, I was done and ready to go. I congratulated him and praised him on his great counting. He was happy, I was happy, and happily we exited the restroom in unison.

I was excited that it worked, not only becaue it gave Smarty Pants a chance to practice his counting and feel good about it, it bought me some time, and avoided an argument.

Another distraction technique that works for me is asking the kids to sing a song. It takes their mind off of whatever else might be bothering them, or changes their focus, again, as Tony Robbins might say.

Give it a shot and see if it works for you!

Leave a comment and tell us how it goes!

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Luckily there are smart people out there to create awesome deal aggregation sites, like DealbyDay.com, to do all the hard work of finding the deals for us, and save us tonnes of time by putting them all in one easy place for us to find.

DealbyDay.com is a deal-seeking parent’s dream. You can easily find all the latest and greatest deals in your area, sorted into useful categories, faster than your child can say, “Dad, I’m hungry!”

And the cool thing is, they don’t show measly little skimpy deals, like, buy 5 items and get the 6th item of lesser value for 5% off. They aggregate big, honking, deals, like, 84% off a 60 minute massage. OMG.. yes, that wasn’t a typo… 84% off. Many of the deals are more than 50% off.

You can also sign up to be notified of the latest deals in your area, or use a “search and notify” function… which is a unique feature that allows you to receive a notification when a deal matching your search criteria is offered.

It works similar to Groupon – effectively harnessing the power of group buying to offer you massive discounts. Its a really cool concept, I wish I had thought of it!

Head on over to DealbyDay.com and check them out… get an 84% off massage or something… you deserve it!

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Disclosure: DealbyDay.com has sent me a thank-you gift for writing up this post here and sharing it with all of you.

I was reminded of how far a little understanding goes when trying to get Smarty Pants (my preschooler son) to come in and get ready for bed after playing outside with his friends. Trying to pull my son away from playing with friends is like trying to pull Charlie Sheen out of a party at the Playboy mansion… he just doesn’t want the fun to end, and sometimes tears ensue.

Last night was such a night. My son was ogling his friend’s new iPod Touch (as I was reminiscing that I had a cassette recorder – not even a portable one – at that age), and bedtime was approaching.

I called my son in, and, although he came in quickly, he started letting out his frustrations as I handed him his toothbrush.

“I only got to watch one video!” he screamed.

“I wanted to watch three or four videos!” he wailed.

At first, I showed more frustration of my own than understanding.

“It’s late and its time for bed!” I screamed.

“You were playing out there for a long time!” I wailed.

It was going nowhere, and only made matters worse.

So, rememberng what I read in “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk”, I switched gears, and started to show understanding for his frustrations.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: “You only got to watch one video, that is frustrating.”

Him: “Yeah, only one, that is only that much.” (showing me a single index finger)

Me: “Hmm, yeah, and you wanted to watch three or four.”

Him: “Yeah.”

Me: “I understand, you know, I am frustrated too, I didn’t get to watch ANY videos today. That’s zero videos!” (making a circle with my thumb and index finger)

Him: (laughing) “Maybe tomorrow I can play with him again.”

Me: “Yeah” (patting myself on the back)

It was magical. I couldn’t believe how quickly that little bit of understanding turned his cries to laughter and his frown to a smile.

I was so happy with this outcome I had to share it with you all, and hope that you will try the same next time you have a chance.

Please leave a comment with your thoughts below, or to share a similar story if you have one!

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Whatever your situation may be, here’s an idea that I’m happy to share with you that will give your kids at least an hour (and hopefully more) of fun and distraction.

I did this with my 4 year old son and his 6 year old friend, and they had a total blast with it.  Here’s how it went down:

My son found a little jewel-like thingy one day and asked me if it was a treasure.  That gave me the idea to hide it somewhere and let him go on a treasure hunt for it.  So I drew a treasure map for him and his friend (which was just a map of our place) and marked a big X on one part of the map.  I hid the jewel at the corresponding area in our place.

With map in hand, they went on a hunt to find the treasure.  It was really great, because they had to figure out how to read the map and navigate their way to the X.  Once they were in the general area, they looked high and low, above and under, to pinpoint the jewel exactly.

Once they found it, they wanted to do it again right away.  They were so excited about it.  So I hid the jewel again in a different spot, marked an X on the corresponding spot on the map again, gave them the map, and they were off once more!

They loved this game, and pretended to be pirates during part of it too.  We went through about 5 hunts before they stopped.  Each time I made it a little bit more difficult.  I liked that I could hide the jewel and then continue making dinner while they were hunting.

By the time they had enough, dinner was ready, and our young pirate could join us for dinner, fresh off the hunt!

Give this game a try if you haven’t tried it already.  If you are really keen, you can make the map look really special, like a real treasure map, and your child can dress like a pirate while searching for the treasure!

If you have done something like this before, or if you try this out, leave a comment and let us know!

Cheers and happy hunting!

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Pirate Kid photo courtesy of Mike Baird