Comments on: Toddler Discipline: Alternatives to Time-Out

By: Mollie

Mollie — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 11:32:16 +0000

Yours are really good suggestions; however, I was hoping to find some alternative consequences to use when things like positive reinforcement won’t work.
I agree positive reinforcement is more rewarding and works wonders, but what do you do when the child has obviously done something wrong and needs correction? Natural consequences don’t always work (example: if I ask her to tidy her toys and she won’t, the consequences are that the house is untidy, her father will be annoyed — at me, not at her — when he gets home, and potentially she won’t be able to find the toy she wants next time she looks for it; however, none of these consequences is immediate, nor something that she’ll necessarily connect to the fact that she didn’t tidy up when she was supposed to). I don’t want to over-use time-out, and I’ve been told that taking away privileges doesn’t work because they don’t usually associate the lost privilege to the undesired behaviour (i.e. not tidying up has nothing to do with tv, so it’s not really appropriate to take away tv privileges as a consequence for not tidying up)– so I’d love any helpful suggestions of consequences I CAN impose when my daughter doesn’t mind me or does something else she’s not supposed to do. Thanks in advance…?!

By: Deborah

Deborah — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:20:19 +0000

My daughter just turned 15 months old and I have been looking for the best way(s) to help her be disciplined. I am not convinced that time out is always the best solution. Thanks for these thoughts.

I enjoyed reading your blog and will keep checking back! Best to you and your family.

I write about creative ways to develop your baby every day. You can check out some of my ideas at http://www.babydevelopmentnow.com
Deborah´s last blog ..Hello world!

By: Head Jammer

Head Jammer — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 05:34:07 +0000

Thanks Lana, excellent suggestion!

By: Lana

Lana — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 21:35:34 +0000

I like these important reminders.
I also just read an interesting “twist” on the Time-In concept (which in the past I rarely incorporated because doing a Time-In with one child, meant leaving the other child alone).
It suggested what I’ll call “Time-Together” for the misbehaving child.
Ex. “Johnny, why don’t you come wash dishes with me for a while” or “Johnny, let’s do some drawing together”.
Although the Parent in me wants some form of corporal punishment consequence, I have learned from real-life experience that the best solution to a child acting out, is not in fact punishment – it’s the opposite: more time and love.
This Time-Together method removes the child from the situation, while offering them some one-on-one time.

By: Head Jammer

Head Jammer — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:43:15 +0000

@Tina, thanks for your comment, that is very true, good point!

By: Tina @ Ride On Toys

Tina @ Ride On Toys — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 12:36:37 +0000

“Remember that discipline is not the same as punishment.”

This is a great point. After spending some time helping out in a preschool center, I would have to say that this is one of the most misunderstood concepts to many parents. Somewhere along the line some parents forget to teach the correct behavior, instead they tend to just punish the wrong behavior.
Tina @ Ride On Toys´s last blog ..The Classic Red Radio Flyer Scooter

By: Head Jammer

Head Jammer — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:05:05 +0000

Hi Kevin, thanks for your comment lol glad you liked it

By: Kevin

Kevin — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:02:54 +0000

“Use natural consequences to stop the beheadings.”

Great post overall, with some helpful tips. With 3 daughters of my own, I just had to call out the line above as my favorite. Gave me a good laugh.

By: Head Jammer

Head Jammer — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:44:36 +0000

@Jon, I really like your example and giving choices like that is a great idea. I also like that you explain what the alternatives are and that you give her the opportunity to make the decision. Great stuff, thanks for sharing!

By: Jon @ DadTrek

Jon @ DadTrek — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:43:21 +0000

Those are great suggestions. I always love giving choices, with one option being undesirable, and the other option being correct behavior. So for example... Works: "Stop throwing your toy at the TV. Either take it over to the other side of the family room, or you can go to timeout." Doesn't Work: "Stop throwing the toy at the TV or you're going to timeout." With that last example, I'm not teaching her a good/desirable alternative. Instead I'm just punishing a negative consequence. Since my daughter's only 2 years old, she needs help thinking of a constructive alternative. Jon @ DadTrek’s last blog post..5 Reasons Dads Should Exercise