When you have kids, you can get so caught up with trying to keep them organized that it is easy forget to take time for both yourself and your partner.  This makes it easy to lose touch with your partner, or let things you might have argued about go unresolved.  These unresolved issues tend to build up over time, and when they bubble to the surface, the result is an even greater argument and distancing from your partner.

There is a solution that is easy to write on paper (or virtual paper), but difficult to put into practice.  You have to be strict and determined with this one, and make a point of doing it every day.

What is it?

The solution is to spend at least ten minutes of one-on-one time with your partner every single day.  That’s right, ten minutes, every single day.  One-on-one.  Meaning, no kids, no distractions, maybe a glass of wine.  These ten minutes will work wonders for you and could save your marriage.

This is easier said than done.  If you have kids, they will need to play alone or with each other during this time.  If you have a baby, you will probably need to spend this time together when the baby is napping.

Your kids will need to understand that they cannot interrupt you during this time either.  This is “Mommy and Daddy Time.”  The kids get your attention all day, hopefully they can last 10 minutes out of the entire day without it.

What do you do in these ten minutes?

During these ten minutes, you give each other your undivided attention.  Try and relax, talk to each other about your day and understand one another.  Discuss what is on your mind or discuss any arguments that you had that might have gone unresolved (don’t start the argument all over again, but try to understand from each other what caused the argument and what you can each do better next time).

What is important is that you are there for each other, you are paying attention to each other and you are communicating with each other!

If you do this every day, you will find that you understand each other better and will feel closer to one another.  If you do this early in the evening, you will find that you will tend to be more relaxed throughout the evening and better able to deal with each other, the kids, and any issues that might arise.

Try and keep it regular and on schedule.  If you start skipping times, you will lose the rhythm and it will be hard to get started again.  It may not always be possible, but try and spend this time together as often as you possibly can.  You will definitely see the benefits of it.

Join the Jam and let us know if you like this idea!  If you try it, let us know how it goes too!

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